I bore my eyes into the drab, grey floor. Looking up, I noticed the walls were brightly coloured yellow and blue. I looked at the woman standing beside me and shrugged, taking my time to get to my desk. I know she told me to make an ‘introduction’ but I did not see the need to. After all, I’d probably be moving away soon. I don’t even think they need to know my name. Her eyes followed me and I could sense them boring holes into my back. She spoke anyway.

“Are you sure you don’t want to say anything James?” she asked, her tone slightly surprised.

I scowled. They weren’t supposed to know my name at all. I looked at that woman anyway and shook my head. This was going to be a long eight hours. Throughout the whole day, the boy who was sitting next to me tried to talk to me. I was sure he even mentioned his name once but I didn’t bother remembering. Every single chance he could, he tried to strike up a conversation. Each time, I just glared at him and ignored him.

“What’s your problem anyway? I just want to make friends,” the boy countered once.

I glared daggers at him again and saw him shiver. I shrugged it off. The phrase ‘make friends’ was alien to me. It did not exist in my dictionary. It is mentioned though, countless times by countless people whose faces I barely remember. All those insignificant people I see in each town I move to. I guess I’ve lost count.

Anyway, I think he got the message and left me alone for the rest of the day.

School was over quicker than I had expected. It was then when I headed home. If you could call some luxurious hotel ‘home’ then it’s probably right up your street. Home was a place I dreaded simply because I knew no one cared there. I opened the door and kicked off my shoes. Looking around, I realised I was alone. Mother wasn’t at home. She was probably at work.
People often tell me that I’m really lucky to have an actress as a mother. She’s one of those popular ones too. To tell you the truth though, I couldn’t care. Never did when Dad, well, I don’t know where he is. Maybe he’s dead or some bigshot criminal out there. Point is, he’s not with us.

Kicking off my sneakers, I slowly dragged my backpack up the stairs to room. The first thing I do: head for my bed. I sit there and slowly contemplate on whether I should start on my homework. I do so anyway and I guess I must’ve fallen asleep.

I’m all alone in this dark tunnel and I see the light far away. Running after it, I see a familiar face. This girl with sandy-coloured hair and bright, cobalt blue eyes; I know she’s smiling at me and I try to smile back. Suddenly everything turns grey and the image of her is shattered like glass and dissipates. I find myself crying and running after that light and her shattered image but then everything is a blur and I see no more of the tunnel and all that faces me is my bare excuse for a room.

Gripping a portion of my hair, I realise that it’s wet and I’m sweating. I sigh and heave my legs off my bed and start rummaging in my unpacked suitcase. Grunting, I lift out a framed picture of two kids playing together. I run my forefinger on the pasta seashell frame that’s painted gold. I touch my cheeks and realise that they’re wet. Wiping my tears, I get up and place the picture frame on my bedside table.

‘Jane’

I lift my head slowly and face the picture of my long-dead twin sister. Not to get mushy because I really don’t want this to sound like a horrible sequel to the type of movies my Mother does but I guess I miss her a lot. She’s probably the best person on this planet and my only friend. We talk only to each other, smile only at each other. We don’t like ‘outsiders’.

To put it simply, we’ve gone through thick and thin together. We’ve trusted only each other. That way, both of us learned to put our ultimate trust in each other. We were always together, laughing and smiling only to each other, because we knew we’d both be okay. In front of ‘outsiders’, our faces would be blank, expressionless and completely void of emotion. Only each other would know the emotions we’ve struggled to keep.

Then it happened. Jane died. Never would I forget the horrible state she was in. How helpless I was when she lay there, suffering. Even today, I can’t get it out of my head. She’s been gone for six years now. The guilt built up in me; that’s why I am what I am now.

I stopped talking to people, stopped expressing any form of emotion. ‘It was for the weak,’ I would tell myself, not for me. I’d keep a stony expression and somehow, I realise that I’ve forgotten to love, to care, to be happy. I only remember one emotion.
I climb back onto my bed and look at that framed picture once more. I burry my face in my pillow and look up into what I imagine to be the dark, starry sky. I look up at this one particular star. One we had picked out from all the other sparklers in the sky. I smile at it and notice that my tears are slowly entering my mouth. I don’t care. I stare at the star and make a silent prayer.

‘Just this once, Jane, let me cry.’

I know this is long due that's why I apologise for putting this up late. This was supposed to be my Holiday Homework (English essay) until I realised that it was too long (the word limit was 500, the story is 980 words long) so I had to write another one. The other one is posted on FanFiction.net and it's link is here. Anyways, do your usual drills.

Read&Review

iRAYUMi

Labels: story